The woman glared at her, flicked the front of her shirt as if my daughter had spilled something on her (my daughter didn’t take anything), then blew up, but said nothing. She then walked up to a companion and loudly announced “that young lady tried to run me over”. They both glared at her sharply until we were able to finish our order and leave the area.
Is there anything else my daughter or I should be doing? I believe my daughter handled it well and I told her so. However, she still feels distressed about how this woman treats her. She is afraid that her actions will be more terrifying than this trivial matter.
My inner mama bear wanted to say something to that woman, but I also firmly believe in not being rude just because someone else is rude.
lesson for you What your daughter is learning is what you’re already teaching her: not everyone is polite, but we don’t reciprocate rudeness in more rude ways. You can tell her that the hostesses know she’s handling it well — and that everyone in her ear is on her side.
Dear Miss Manners: Is there a new way to schedule weddings and receptions? I’ve been invited to a couple of weddings where the ceremony was at 2pm but the reception was at 5pm with a three hour gap.
The ceremony only lasted about 30 minutes, and the reception location was not far away (about 20 minutes). What should the guest do during such a long interval? Also, many weddings state that “black bow ties are optional”, so should we wear our fancy dress until the reception, or go home and change?
In the past, the reception was held after the ceremony. Am I old fashioned? Is this a new trend?
which trend do you belong to Want to make sure the venue (only available at 2pm and 5pm) is more important than the guests? Wedding photographer calling friends and family on a whim while everyone else stands aside? Have a formal event before sunset?
No, none of these trends are new—nor do they address hosts’ desire to consider guest convenience.
New Miss Manners column published Monday-Saturday washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
